a borderline teacher: A catch-up post

Saturday, November 04, 2006

A catch-up post

In response to the question, I am very well thank you! Sorry I don't blog much nowadays. Originally, it was through fear of nasty comments, but recently it has been more because I don't have much to post about... my life is wonderfully dull these days!

I have been teaching at the same school since February and have just been told that my contract has been extended, so I have plenty of professional stability.

I still see the counsellor I started seeing in December 2005. I think we will keep going for a bit longer, as I still find the sessions helpful, but we will probably start to wind it down soon.

Having spent many years being overweight, I have reached a weight where I was described by a colleague yesterday as "tiny"! Not sure that is exactly true, as I am tall and have broad hips, but it was quite a nice thing to hear. I did become rather obsessed with weight loss, but I think I have this under control most of the time now and have not lost any more weight for about a month.

I have not harmed myself for over 14 months and I will celebrate the second anniversary of my sobriety in just over 2 weeks. It is really amazing, as I never dreamed that I could stop either of these things. I do still sometimes think I would like a drink, but I know it wouldn't stop at one and I would quickly find myself back at heavy drinking and unmanageability. The self harm is quite a different thing. I certainly do not ever want to do that again. I'm not sure exactly when it happened, but my feelings changed a great deal about this. I still remember why I did it and I also remember the relief it brought me, but I don't need to resort to it any more. I know other, much more productive, ways of changing my feelings and the idea of cutting myself or taking an overdose is horrific to me now. In about a month, I have my second appointment with a plastic surgeon about the extensive scarring on my stomach. I saw him last December, but he said he couldn't do anything at that time, as the wound was still healing. It is now totally healed and I hope so much that he is able to do something to reduce the scar, as it does act as a constant reminder. My other scars have faded a lot, but this one is still very evident.

Well, that is about all from me. Expect some more random posts in the future!


Blogger R said...

Hi Cat,

Really good to hear things are still going well for you! And well done on reaching the two-year's sobriety, it's an hell of an achievement!

Take care of yourself

R x

2:48 pm  
Blogger french mistress said...

Thanks R. Hope things are well with you too.
Life isn't always easy, but it can be fun now and I don't constantly feel outside normality!

9:58 pm  
Blogger Anne said...

Hi Cat, good to read the good news - about getting a Macbook, I mean - and all the other stuff too. Doing what is right for you has been inspiring for me - and how you have coped with the aggro here - so thanks.

5:05 pm  
Blogger cobob said...

Oh loooooooord, woncha buy meeee... A new Macbooooooooook Prooooooo.

My frayends all... Hayve PC's... Aynd I hayte... Thaym so...

Work harrrrd all mah life tahm... Actchally, that ain't really sooooo...

But oh looooooooord, woncha buy meee....

A new Macboooooook Proooooo.

[I'm fiercely jealous]

Glad to hear you're doing so well, Cat. Hopefully catch up over a Schloer at Christmas?

In fact, is it your sobriety anniversary today?? If so, happy, er... Is there a name for it? Happy whatever-it's-called anyway. Proud of you. :)

Take care... Cobob. x

10:16 pm  
Blogger french mistress said...

Thanks Cobob. It was indeed my AAniversary ysterday!

I'd love to see you over Christmas. Let me know when you're in the neighbourhood.

Anne, thanks for your comment. Only just read it as it didn't get emailed through... :(

I'm loving my MacBook, which is wonderful and so much quicker than the bloody PC! I try to do what is right (and not just for ME), but don't always manage it... I'm only human, after all!
I hope things are well with you too.


7:52 pm  
Blogger Dawn said...

congratulations on your sobriety-both from cutting and drinking-that's such great news :)

hope you have a great christmas

4:06 pm  
Blogger Luke Alexander said...

Great posts! Thanks for sharing a bit of yourself here :-) If you need break check out my favorite game..ponged.com.

6:49 pm  

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