a borderline teacher: November 2006

Saturday, November 04, 2006

A catch-up post

In response to the question, I am very well thank you! Sorry I don't blog much nowadays. Originally, it was through fear of nasty comments, but recently it has been more because I don't have much to post about... my life is wonderfully dull these days!

I have been teaching at the same school since February and have just been told that my contract has been extended, so I have plenty of professional stability.

I still see the counsellor I started seeing in December 2005. I think we will keep going for a bit longer, as I still find the sessions helpful, but we will probably start to wind it down soon.

Having spent many years being overweight, I have reached a weight where I was described by a colleague yesterday as "tiny"! Not sure that is exactly true, as I am tall and have broad hips, but it was quite a nice thing to hear. I did become rather obsessed with weight loss, but I think I have this under control most of the time now and have not lost any more weight for about a month.

I have not harmed myself for over 14 months and I will celebrate the second anniversary of my sobriety in just over 2 weeks. It is really amazing, as I never dreamed that I could stop either of these things. I do still sometimes think I would like a drink, but I know it wouldn't stop at one and I would quickly find myself back at heavy drinking and unmanageability. The self harm is quite a different thing. I certainly do not ever want to do that again. I'm not sure exactly when it happened, but my feelings changed a great deal about this. I still remember why I did it and I also remember the relief it brought me, but I don't need to resort to it any more. I know other, much more productive, ways of changing my feelings and the idea of cutting myself or taking an overdose is horrific to me now. In about a month, I have my second appointment with a plastic surgeon about the extensive scarring on my stomach. I saw him last December, but he said he couldn't do anything at that time, as the wound was still healing. It is now totally healed and I hope so much that he is able to do something to reduce the scar, as it does act as a constant reminder. My other scars have faded a lot, but this one is still very evident.

Well, that is about all from me. Expect some more random posts in the future!